Alone and desperate - lost and in despair
belt and bootlaces untied - someone always there
all the years of anguish take me to this place
forbidden worlds inside me - normality debased
the only thing i wanted was fulfilling you
the one thing i needed was you to want me too
the past didn't matter cos i was your lover
to meet your every sexual need - satisfaction guaranteed
Failing your fantasy - couldn't turn you on
your visions of me taking you all long gone
"Tie Me" domination I didn't understand
and unchained myself from your promised land
the only thing i wanted was fulfilling you
crossing my red line i didn't have a clue
the past began to matter - a second rate lover
trying to meet a sexual need - no chance to succeed
remembering the past times - the passion and the lust
nights of desire all turned to dust
and now it's all in ruins - i wanna end it all
my final ecstasy is death - my sexual curtain call.
The lies of laughter every day - my affliction
torment twisting in my head - an addiction
now every hope and dream is dead
gone with the outward tide
working out the options - just suicide
There's nothing left to live for - no future anymore
no one here to understand - just someone to deplore
become the person i despise
my whole damn life is fake
so now convert this sex drive
to the last drive i take
driving out - thinking about the end of my time
way past depression it's the end of the line
towards the distant sunset - the setting of my death
the waters of wast will see my dying breath
All the whys and what ifs - goodbye to sexual urges
the surge of loss and anger re-emerges
take the absinthe - light the dope
reach for the bottles of pills
calm emotion never ending - cure all ills
this is what i need now - I've no cards left to deal
OBLIVION AWAITS me - an end to this ordeal
i'm an evil sodding bastard
a fucking bloody shame
but yesterday was different
and i'm still the fucking same!
all the things i wanted - everything is lost
darkness surrounds me as i count the cost
what i hadn't got has gone and i'll never get
waiting for the answer - ain't got it yet
death is my hope as hope lies there dead
suffering from my desire
a failure in life living a lie - ends at a funeral pyre
what is my life now? nothing left to gain
a hole in my soul filled with guilt and pain
mind turning backwards - voices in my head
scream and shout inside out - wishing i was dead
he and a lover's now hell and it's over
gone in the morning as sex becomes ex
under a black spell sounding my death knell
angel to anger as heat turns to hate
in the shit - reputation - now separation
being chaste - what a waste - a future of disgrace
an addict losing will to find how to carry on
no way to undo what you think I've done
a hundred million tons of bleach
won't clean these bloody hands
millions more just ignore and never understand
if a man curses his father or mother he must be put to death.
(Exodus 21:17)
If a man commits adultery with his neighbours wife, both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.
(Leviticus 20:10)
If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman both of them have done what is detestable. they must be put to death. their blood will be on their own heads.
(Leviticus 20:13)
This is the word of god. this is the law of god.
in the cities of the nations your god is giving you do not leave anything that breathes, completely destroy them - hittites, amorites, canaanites, perizzites, hivites, jebusites - as the lord has commanded you
(Deuteronomy 20:16-17)
If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not listen to his father and mother, his father and mother will take him and bring him to the elders at the gates of the temple. they shall say to the elders, "our son is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. he is a profligate and a drunkard." then all of the men of the town shall stone him to death.
(Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
While the Israelites were in the desert a man was found gathering wood on the sabbath. they took him to Moses, Aaron and the assembly and kept him in custody as it was not clear what should be done to him. then the lord said to Moses, "the man must die. the whole assembly must stone him outside the camp." so the assembly took him outside the camp and stoned him to death... as the lord commanded.
(Numbers 15:32-36)
this is the word of god. this is the law of god.
this is the law. this is the law of god.
Life inside your prison; Claustrophobic vision
night-time all around, noise without a sound
seconds turn to days, time wears souls away
another bloody year mired in constant fear
what you do, who you are, it matters not
in the end, cold and dark, your body rots
understand the suffering and pain that you are given
are there to make you realise you are living
just ignore the hurt
the pills you take won't work
madness in your head brings you closer to the dead
what you think, who you are, it matters not
in the end, cold and dark, your body rots
from when you were begotten to when you'll be forgotten
a tedious persistence, pathetic cold existence
crucify the day before you turn away
night removes your dream so nightmares come and play
what you are, who you do, it matters not
in the end, cold and dark, your body rots
living for your death, drawing futile breath
book the final stop inside a wooden box
every thought, every sound, lost in the wastes of space
a vacuum of dark despair expands to take your place
as your body rots